Roads of Life

One thing I’ve learned on this long road is this; all lives are beset by various tragedies and hardships, marking us like so many creases in a travel-worn and weary map. These wounds and battles make us who we are, and just like a sudden squall, we cannot always predict when and where these events will take place. In my own experience, I know how hard it can be at times to maintain the practices that often keep me sane and centered in my own life. Some days you are hit with depression or lack of motivation, and other days reality can hit you like a fucking ton of bricks, cracking that carefully crafted center of calm in the void of this rootless world. My own testing grounds have been numerous, as I’m sure many others can say about their own lives, and everyone bears their difficulties with varying degrees of ease or hardship. At times like these, anything outside of what you are immediately experiencing or feeling can become an additional burden, even things that would lighten the pressure and in some cases even lift you from that pit of despair that one seems to have fallen into. Whether it is weightlifting or doing ritual work, writing or creating something, when we are being crushed by the weight of our issues it is the easiest to fall out of practice and before we know it, we’re back at square one in the world and with ourselves. In these instances, it is of utmost importance to remember this; our minds and our bodies are comprised of more than just flesh, we are imbued with a fiery spirit as well, and we never truly forget anything. Muscle memory, spiritual memory, it’s all the same. What matters is that when we finally realize it, whatever and whenever “it” means to you, one can pull themselves up and begin their Work all over again. You are capable. I am capable. Our biggest enemy is not the world outside, and of course you only realize this after you have been rocked and devastated by death and homelessness, yet are still standing. The biggest enemy is within us, within ourselves. It is that lower self, that weak and lazy spawn of Adam, that would have us grovel in our weakness and despair. Once you truly give up, truly surrender in the full sense of the word, then all the miseries and filth of this world will have you. Until then, one must only REMEMBER what they have done, what they have accomplished, and express with their very soul and body that THEY WANT THIS. They must express that they will no longer settle for mediocrity, laziness, depression, and rotting away in this Empire of Nothing. So get back to training at home or in the gym, write a poem or an essay, give offering to the gods or conduct a ritual, send forth runes of power and night into the Void and cry with a fiery voice that you will not be vanquished. We can only be defeated when we give our enemies the permission. Until then, stand strong and howl against the dying of the light. I’ll see you out there.